Jennifer Barbee Inc. Announces Massive Recall on All Web Strategy & Advice

April 1, 2010

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Today, in shocking news, Jennifer Barbee, the President and Chief Creative Officer of JB Inc., announced that the boutique agency is recalling all client strategy, blog advice and innovative ideas from April 1st forward.

“We realized that our clients were becoming too web savvy, and in turn are becoming too evolved. As a company, it is our civic duty to stifle evolution. We all know that mushrooms grow better in the dark,” Jennifer Barbee told a gaggle of reporters this morning.

JB Inc. staff members will instead turn their attention to the ongoing struggle to legitimize magic and forego all use of technology.

“Who needs 3G and touchscreens when we have potions and magic wands?” commented Hannah Sentenac, Director of Client Services. “Technology has had its day, now it’s time to focus on what’s really going to help humanity – voodoo.” This comes on the heels of Hannah’s recent forecast of impending alien attack. “My knee always swells before an alien invasion,” she mentioned.

Kristen Cruz, VP of Interactive Strategies and PR, was quoted as saying “If voodoo can help give my 3rd grade teacher an extra arm, then it can help with a forward thinking marketing plan!”

“Destinations should keep things simple.” she added. “Blanket demographics comprised of babies and puppies. More pictures of squids on their sites and random shavings of people’s heads.”

Drew Barbee, COO, stood firm in the company’s new mission.

“We have secured the rights to the entire internet, and find it in our best interest not to share. We apologize for the inconvenience, but we must move backwards and ensure that progress is a thing of the past,” he announced.  “Of course, we will continue to support ongoing efforts to debunk the laws of gravity, focus groups comprised solely of the undead, and tried and true methodologies like changing all your passwords while you are drunk.”

The team plans to donate all technological gadgets and materials to Sasquatch. “He needs it more than we do,” Jennifer said.

To devolve your web program, and if you are also afraid of the sun, contact Jennifer Barbee at devolve@jenniferbarbee.com or 917-289-1008.

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