10 Cheesy Pick Up Lines from Web Companies

I am seeing a pattern here from some web companies, and the “guerilla sales strategy” techniques are starting to sound like cheesy pick up lines. Since it’s April Fool’s day, and most of these lines are just that … lines to get you to sign – we thought we’d give you a shot of laughter … or at least a snicker. Here’s what you would hear if web sales happened in a bar:

1.    Hey baby, once you go with me, you’ll NEVER need an upgrade.
2.    I only have eyes for you.  Of COURSE I won’t market your competition. *wink, wink*
3.    5 dollars, 5 minutes … I’ll take you to the moon, er … uh … top of Google, guaranteed!
4.    Yes, I’ll respect you in the morning once you sign the contract! (But you’ll have to talk to rotating account reps instead of me)
5.    Bad break up with your last web company?  I understand.  I’ll never break a timeline.
6.    Don’t worry about it.  Nothing you’ve done online previously counts.  The only thing that matters is that we’re together now.
7.    Do you have a map?  I just keep getting lost in your analytics.
8.    Hi, I’m Mr. Right.  Someone said you were looking for me.
9.    Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF. We don’t care about your brand, just building a website for you!
10.  Of COURSE our hard drive is bigger than theirs.

Moral of the story.  In the keyboard of life, always keep your finger on the escape button.

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Jenn

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